Who were you?
Who are you?
Who will you be?
Many of my clients look at these questions without being able to answer.
1# Understand who you were
Diving into the past is a painful and not easy time for many of us, but understanding who we were is a fundamental step to understand who we are and how we became it entirely.
Ask yourself these questions and try to be as honest as possible:
• With whom did you spend the most time?
• How were your relationships with others?
• How did you manage conflicts?
• What did you do for fun, and why?
• What are some of the lessons you learned?
• Do you remember particular positive experiences?
• Do you remember any specific negative experiences?
• What are your favorite memories, and why?
2# Understand who you are now
Now think about what has changed in your life
• What is different about this year and last year?
• What is different about this year and three years ago?
• Do you like who you are now? Why? Why not?
• What is important to you in your life?
• With whom do you spend time now? What do you do?
• Which activities do you enjoy the most?
• How has the past impacted your present?
3# Love who you are
After the great work you have done to understand who you are and how you have become, you are ready to accept yourself and love yourself.
- Search for the good that you have: Whatever you have lived or done appreciates the best of what you are.
- Try to understand your dark sides: There is no escape for this, and there is no way to accept and value ourselves if we do not embrace the fact that we also have dark sides. You can be changed for the better, but you can have done it even worse. This is an opportunity to understand if you let go of values or behaviors that were important to you and decide if you want to let somehow them go because they no longer belong to you.
- No one is perfect: We always say it, but then we struggle to believe it and demand perfection from ourselves. The best we can do is be ourselves on every single day of our lives. You’ve already come a long way. You still have much to do to become a better version of you.
Keep these three points in mind and remember that every day is a new beginning, a unique possibility to really be yourself.