I have lived in 3 different countries, and I know how to survive the experience of being in a new city, without friends, relatives, or a job. Below I want to give you 7 tips on how to deal with this great opportunity that gave you life.
#1 Don’t be fooled by appearances
First months in a new city can be the worst.
You want to come back in the comfort zone that you proudly exceeded by going up that plane.
Leave space to your curiosity and desire to immerse yourself in a new environment by trying to project yourself into the future. You will have plenty of time to look back and see if the choice you made was the right one.
Do not be impressed by the language that you will not understand correctly (or not at all), by the people who will seem grumpy to you on every side of the road, with bureaucratic difficulties.
You have to breathe, breathe deeply and enter the game.
Get used to the new life slowly and ask questions, without being afraid of looking stupid: you are new in the city, you have the right not to know how specific mechanisms work.
#2 Go out and explore the city alone
I used to go out alone in the morning and stayed out all day, exploring Stockholm aimlessly.
I lost myself a thousand times in the streets.
Everything was new and magical. I was surrounded by myriads of people of whom undoubtedly many in my same situation.
This thought encouraged me and made me hope for a less lonely future.
Closing yourself at home is perhaps one of the biggest mistakes.
#3 Talk to strangers
They have always taught us to do the opposite, the unknown is the evil par excellence. Wrong: we are adults, and theoretically, we should have developed a minimum of critical sense by which we can recognize a person worth speaking to without risk.
When you go to the supermarket don’t be afraid to talk.
It is an encouragement to trust others, and the all-human need to be social animals.
#4 Choose a place you like & go to it
My first friend in Stockholm was a mother like me at playrooms.
Her smile and her welcome gave me the courage to speak.
I started to regularly visit the playrooms and get to know many people better.
In the new city where you moved you will find a place that you like, even just for an early morning coffee.
#5 Participate in events
In any city, large or small, you will find a more or less wide range of events and opportunities for socializing.
Whether it’s an exhibition, a book opening, a new store opening, a festival …
Get a booklet of city events and use it as your personal agenda.
Pinned to the events that might interest you and see what the atmosphere is, without prejudice.
By the way, if you’re from Stockholm, why don’t you visit us every month at The Female Clique? This way, you can meet other women in the same situation.
Get out of the house and mix with the people, see or hear something new, find inspiration, or meet someone who shares your interests.
#6 Use social networks
Spending hours on Facebook to continue living your old life at a distance and regretting the friends you have left in your home city is not exactly a happy move: use social networks to find activities in your new environment.
You can be an active user of FB groups.
I had the opportunity to go to eat in a restaurant, attend parties, watch a movie at the cinema with people like me who had just arrived in the city: some of these people remained in my life.
Smiling produces endorphins, and introducing yourself to people in a smile is the best calling card.
A smile gives the courage to start a conversation, changes your look, and attracts the looks of others.
If you show a smile, you’ll hardly get rudeness in return.
Learning to use a smile is the first rule of social survival.
Do you have any other points to add? What were your survival techniques in a new city?
If you need a coach to help you implement these tips and others, don’t hesitate to contact me.